


Hope to those who have not (11/12) by Adalisa

by m_a_archive_owner



Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 00:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1407574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_a_archive_owner/pseuds/m_a_archive_owner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Qui-Gon faces his greatest fear when he finds Obi-Wan.</p><p>Note from mods: this story was originally archived at www.masterapprentice.org, which has closed due to code rot. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in March 2014. The m_a list was mailed in December 2013 as well as posted to a number of LJ and Dreamwidth communities about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact us using the e-mail address on collection profile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope to those who have not (11/12) by Adalisa

|  [Master Apprentice](http://www.masterapprentice.org/html/index.html) [Archive](http://www.masterapprentice.org/html/archive.html) Hope to those who have not (11/12)  |  Quick search:   
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##  Hope to those who have not (11/12) 

###  by Adalisa (marioz@spin.com.mx) 

Archive: My site and the m_a archive. Anyone else, just ask. I  
won't say no.

Category: I'm not at all sure, but it's an AU, h/c, angst, and  
POV. Yeah, I think that's all.

Rating: PG-13

Warning: I'm sure I'm not following Canon somewhere. After all,  
I'm not all that familiar with anything in this universe  
besides the movies, the comic adaptation and what I have been  
reading here.

Spoilers: Some for TPM. This is an AU so it doesn't really  
matters.

Summary: Qui-Gon faces his greatest fear when he finds Obi-Wan.  
Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to George Lucas, who is  
god. And I'm not making any money out of this... so it would  
really be pointless to sue me for it.

Content: Q/O.

Feedback: I love it. It's inspiring... and if anyone would have  
time to detailed feedback, I would really appreciate it. But  
please, don't kill me after this.

What has gone before: To keep Anakin with his mother, Obi-Wan  
exchanged his freedom from her, thus never confronting the Sith  
on Naboo. After defeating Maul, Qui-Gon came to terms with his  
feelings for Obi-Wan, but still could not make himself disobey  
the Council and free his padawan, and so, Amidala and Anakin  
tried to at least find where Obi-Wan was. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan  
was sold to Bobba Fett, who in turn sold him to Palpatine.

After retrieving 3PO from Bobba Fett, and discovering that  
Palpatine is the Sith Lord, finally Qui-Gon is in his way to  
rescue Obi-Wan.

And now, the story:

  


I dreaded the arrival on Coruscant, all too sure that we were  
too late. Since the moment Anakin's droid identified the Sith  
Lord's voice as Palpatine, I've been having this dark feeling  
that my Padawan is already lost to me.

There is no doubt in my mind that he is in the hands of a Sith  
Lord. The tattooed face that I saw when we almost saved him was  
the only proof I needed.

I was so sure that the Sith died on Naboo. I had taken a little  
comfort in knowing that his dark taint would never reach my  
Padawan... And now even that is gone. Obi-Wan has been in the  
Sith's hands all along.

And it is my fault.

We have a slight advantage in the surprise element. We were  
very careful in our communications with Queen Amidala and Mace,  
so it was impossible for Palpatine to know our real intentions.

Our plan is somewhat simple. Queen Amidala will show all the  
evidence she and Mace gathered against Palpatine, while Panaka,  
Ani and I rescue Obi-Wan. There is not much evidence against  
the Chancellor, but we hope that Obi-Wan's testimony will be  
enough.

Still, we all know that it cannot be easy.

I know it won't be easy.

* * *

The assault on Palpataine's quarters was swift and almost  
immediate. While Panaka and Ani fought the defense droids,  
creating a diversion for me, I ran through a maze of stairs  
that led me deeper to the lower levels on Coruscant. It seemed  
obvious that there were many hidden things inside the core of  
the Republic.

Things that the Jedi Order should have never allowed to exist.

I confront the Sith again, but this time he is almost silent.  
The taunts and provocation that he used against me on Naboo are  
not present at all. Still, his silence is even more unnerving.  
But I do not let him get past my shields now. I know that he is  
the last obstacle against me before I can see my beloved again.

Before I can tell him how much he means to me. Before I can  
fulfill my vow to never let him away from me again.

And those thoughts are what enable me to finally strike a  
definitive killing blow that cuts the Sith's body in half.

Still, my victory does nothing to ease the growing sense of  
wrongness that fills my heart.

"I hoped you would come, **'Master'** ."

I turn around at hearing his voice, the voice I had not  
realized was part of my heart until I could not hear it again.  
I was sure that even the harshest words coming from his mouth  
would be enough to make me feel whole again.

I was wrong.

His tone is not welcoming, but taunting, and it freezes my  
heart.

"Obi-Wan? " I barely recognize my apprentice, even though he  
has not changed much. His face is the same, even if it looks a  
little thin. He is dressed completely in black, just as the  
Sith Lord that has just fallen under my saber. He is smiling,  
but his smile does not reach his eyes.

His eyes, the green-blue orbs that always seemed to shine with  
reassurance and joy, that never once failed to lift my soul  
away from all worries even if I never told him so, are dead  
now. There is no joy, no love to be found in them. Only  
coldness...

Only hate.

"But this time, you got here too late." He finishes, and  
activates the lightsaber he was hiding on the folds of his  
tunic.

I barely have time to defend myself, not wanting to believe  
what all my senses are telling me. But as I reach with the  
Force, I meet only a wall of rage, hate and darkness that seems  
to envelop all his being. There is no trace of my Padawan, of  
the gentle, caring young man I love.

"Padawan..." I say as I parry off, shielding myself without  
taking the offensive.

"I am not your Padawan!!" he yells, and his attack increases in  
strength and speed. "You never wanted me, I was never enough  
for you, Qui Gon Jinn!! I was not worthy enough!" Each word is  
spat with venom, and they wound my heart. Because, long ago, I  
did not want him at my side... but it was not because he was  
not a worthy student, but for my own fears.

My own failure.

As the fight continues, he presses harder. I cannot even try to  
explain myself and make him stop, ask for his forgiveness...  
And the pain in my chest grows.

With a strong push of the Force, he throws me to the floor.  
Before I can regain my footing, he kicks me hard, breaking my  
ribs. I have to bite my lips not to let a cry escape.

"How it feels, 'MASTER'?" He mocks me, and his hard voice is a  
knife in my heart. "How does it feel to be crushed and beaten  
down?!" There is a soft pause, and then I can feel the Force  
pressing my body down. "I suffered this and more in the months  
after I left you... After you didn't notice I was gone... I  
learned many things that you never taught me, 'Master'... I  
learned how much I could hate you for your weakness."

I hear the hum of the lightsaber near my head, but I cannot  
turn to see where it is. The control Obi-Wan is exerting over  
the Force far surpasses what I knew as his limits. It is  
frightening, the ease with which he manipulates the Dark Side  
now.

"How much time passed before you decided to give my lightsaber  
to your 'Chosen One', 'Master'? Was it when you left Tatooine,  
relieved of not having my burden on your back? Or did you have  
to wait until the Council allowed you to train him?"

"I... did..." I try to speak, but he crushes my chest with his  
boot, interrupting my words.

"I do not care, 'Master'. I have a new one now."

Those are the last words I hear, before a flash of light  
strikes me.

* * *

Obi-Wan's interlude.

I have Qui-Gon at my feet, ready to kill him.

Seeing him beaten, wounded and bleeding, I feel satisfaction.  
At least he knows a little of what I've been through...

But he can never know it all. He cannot know how much he hurt  
me, time and again, rejecting me in every way possible, even  
after the Council made him accept me as his Padawan. This...  
this is only a small revenge. I will not feel myself avenged  
until all those who have hurt me die. Qui-Gon, the Skywalker  
brat... The Council.

I lift my lightsaber, and cut Qui-Gon's neck with one swift  
movement.

* * *

Tears run in my eyes as I lay awake in my quarters, deep inside  
the Sith Lord's hideout on Coruscant.

It is not the first time I have had this nightmare, but it is  
the first time I did not know it was a dream. I awoke just as  
my lightsaber ended my Master's life... and now I do not know  
my own heart. As horrified as I was when I woke up, in my dream  
I was enjoying the act of hurting my mentor.

Of hurting the only one I love.

I pray to the Force that Qui-Gon will come and rescue me. I  
pray that he will not. My heart breaks as I think this, but I  
don't know what to do.

I'm corrupted. I'm allowing the Dark Side in my heart.

And I will kill myself before I reach the point where my love  
turns to hate.

To be continued...

  



End file.
